Sunday, July 4, 2010

The New Normal

Last week I began to feel it. I had that hamster running in a wheel feeling. I am going and going but I am unable to get it done. I was having trouble keeping track of what I wanted to get done and then HOW to get it done. I am a woman of lists and preparation. I has so many pieces of paper on my pile, I was beginning to panic. I have had this feeling in Delaware. I was surprised to feel it Tennessee though, especially so soon.

Before we moved, I had an image in my mind of my time in Tennessee this summer. I would unpack, get orientated, lay by the pool, read some even, and spend time with the kids. Somehow I thought my time to relax would be lengthier, and well, more relaxing. I thought I would be lonely and could fill the void of missing friends by "getting things done". Somehow though, I am still somewhat lonely AND I can't get things done.

Perhaps it has to do with how things take extra time to figure out here. If I want to try to shop in a new store, find a Karate studio, or Gymnastics place. I have to look it up on the computer, GPS it, visit, evaluate and decide. It can be draining. I currently have many suggestions for doctors and vets. I have to call them and visit, ask questions, and see if they take our insurance. Most things take three steps to complete. After the past few months, I am NOT in the mood for extra steps.

All of my tasks are not insurmountable, but the hamster still has to run in the wheel. I am not able to ignore the cluttered and increasing dirtiness of my new home. I really like my new home and want it clean and organized. I am hoping that I will get into a groove and routine sometime soon, for the moment though I think I will get off the wheel and continue to seek out my New Normal.

1 comment:

  1. Don't feel bad...although my lists are different I constantly am taking 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. :-p