Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Proud Parenting Moment #23 - The Chair

Do you ever have those days when you know you are in trouble? A situation comes up, you make mistakes, lose your temper. do things not quite the way you would like? I call those "Proud Parenting Moments". Everyone has them and we all need to share them so we don't feel alone.

The other day my children decided to fight about a chair. Or rather who gets to sit in "The Chair". This chair is one of the oldest in our house. It was the recliner used in the nursery. It has more spit up and other waste on it that I am shocked anyone wants to sit on it.

My children decide during a stressful day, or rather week, of mine to fight about who gets to sit in this chair to do homework. There are tears and anger, over A CHAIR. (It is not like no other POSSIBLE seats exist in the house) I try to understand and explain that it is only a chair. There is still much upset. One won't give it up and the other is upset. The older girl argues the younger is just crying to get her way and it is not fair. I feel myself begin to lose it. I call Jack. My lovely husband can tell there is trouble by the tone in my voice. I say, "Are you busy? Can you talk?" He replies, " I am in a meeting but I can step out."

This of course makes me feel even worse. Now my husband is missing work because his children may not be alive when he comes home over a chair and I can't handle the situation calmly. I speak to him. He tells me not to worry and calms me down. I myself do not want to be upset over a chair and I begin to lose it. The girls, HATE IT when I lose it and begin to get more upset. I banish all children from the chair for today and the REST of the WEEK.

Thoughts race in my head about how I will put police tape on the chair to make sure they don't sit on it. I think about making a sign to hang on the chair, "Children in this house ARE NOT ALLOWED to sit in this chair due to fighting." I want to leave it there for house showings. The children continue to fuss. I pull out the big guns. This chair does not need to move to Tennessee, I say. Now the girls are really in tears.

We have 20 minutes of discussion about a chair and who gets to sit in it. I give up and do some cleaning. My older daughter comes to me upset. (adding 10 more minutes to the chair discussion and issue) Toward the end, my upset daughter apologizes for not giving up the chair. We discuss how it is just a chair. She says, "I know that, but sometimes, I just can't give up, I want to win."

What do you do with that? I am not happy with raising my voice and fussing at the kids for fighting over a chair. I am not perfect. My daughter admits she is not perfect and is upset. I just want to hug her and move on. How I acted did not make me so proud, but her admission, that made a proud parenting moment.

1 comment:

  1. This story reminds me of my childhood. at our house, we have a chair that is in the corner of teh room, at the end of the kitchen table. The only difference to our chair and your chair, is that my sister and i never wanted to sit in it. so, to help us, my mom designated us each to certain days in the chair and those were the only days we were allowed in the chair. it really worked for us. btw, this is alyssa... so maybe if you designated different days that the girls sat in the chair there would be less fighting.