Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Children are like Orgres and Onions, they have layers

This title is from the movie Shrek. My children are of an age that they LOVED Shrek. I watched it ALOT. I knew and still know lots of lines. Yesterday was a fairly typical day in my current life. It was actually kind of quiet. I got to walk the dog and there was only one event that the mom shuttle service needed to get to and from, karate. We return home from karate, and even in the van, storm clouds are brewing. My older daughter is starting an argument with my younger daughter. I step in to keep some order. The fight then moves to me.

The point of upset seemed to be that my older daughter takes issue with my younger daughter getting so many "rewards" at school. It is bribery, it is not fair. After awhile I explain that if the teacher's system upsets her so much she can take it up with Jenny's teacher. Then the first layer is exposed. She does not really care about rewards but is upset that Jenny ALWAYS has the nice teachers. She wants ME to go and get Jenny's teacher switched. I won't do that, so she wants assurances that she will get a nice teacher next year. I point out that next year she will have many teachers in middle school, that with probability alone, she should get someone nice. Still not good enough. I need to "fix" it for her. She gives examples of other moms she KNOWS changed things for their children. I tell her no. That I won't do that now or ever. I can't follow her around the rest of her life, demanding her bosses be responsible and nice. She does not have to like her teachers, she does not, (and in all likelihood, may not) like her boss when she grows up. That is life. There are different kinds of teachers, moms, and bosses. We all do things differently. The tears continue. Why is it like that?, she wails. I reply, it is the "Circle of Life" Not a perfect metaphor, but my breaking into the song gets some levity into the situation.

Finally things calm down. But there is yet another layer coming. My daughter explains how she was wronged in karate about her place in line. Where you stand in karate is a BIG thing. It is rank order by belt and then age. Melissa was pushed out of her spot by a couple of other girls who then covered for each other. I am not sure the exact story. I do know there are more tears from my child. Sometimes her exact place in line bothers her sometimes it doesn't.(I was also informed she usually did not mess with the boys about it because it is more of a pain) I tell her to stick up for herself if it bothers her. The other children in this tale are younger than her (although same rank) and are friends. I am not so sure if it was a battle over rank or them wanting to stand together and Melissa was in the way.

We finally have reached out end of upset. I get to make dinner and move forward to bedtime. Later, I know I will be hungry and want something sweet. I am thinking, a parfait. It has layers and everyone loves parfaits!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my. Well I'm glad she at least got to the point where she spewed everything that was bothering her out. That's a good step! Last night I announced the weather was so nice & since the girls had no homework due to DSTPs, we would have "Family Fun Night"! Jordan made Ellie read a quote to me out of one of the "Travelling Pants" books about how there is no such thing as "fun for the whole family." Ugh. With or without a birthday to prove it, we are painfully aware that she turns 13 tomorrow!