All things take time, this making friends thing is taking to much time. Sometimes I am not so patient. I admit I am slowly meeting people and getting to know them, but I want some FRIENDS. I decided to take a deep breath gave it some thought. I reflected on the times I had to make new friends as an adult in my life.
I am a fairly outgoing person. I went to college, leaving my parents open mouthed and saddened with the parting comment,"Good - bye! I have to go forge new relationships!"(yes, I ACTUALLY said this) I headed off and discovered creative, smart, and terrific people. Most of whom were not even in my major or my classes. During college I also met many people through my job at Kinko's Copies. I am friends with them today and one even introduced me to my husband. College seemed to be so intense that making friends was fast and furious. Over time the relationships strengthened. I recall feeling a little lost my freshman year, which group did I fit into? Did I fit into any? In the end, I made my own little group.
My next leap into meeting new people was my move back to Delaware. In my new home with my soon to be husband I was able to stay in touch with friends from college and make new ones with neighbors. I am now back in touch with them through Facebook! While in Newark, Jack and I met more people through our church.
Meeting people at church took time. I remember hanging around at coffee hour and not being comfortable, not KNOWING anyone. (I also remember being scared of Mrs. Hamilton, but that is a story for another time)Somehow over time it changed. At coffee hour I could not find the time to talk to EVERYONE! I made friends that are like family. As I visit new churches I try to remind myself that it takes time. The newness and uncomfortableness will melt away.
When I moved from Newark to Wilmington I was pregnant. My children launched me into a whole new group of friends. Being a stay at home mom, I worked every angle I could to meet people. One friend recalled how I stopped to talk to her outside as I walked the dog. (I had read an article in Parent Magazine that said when you were at home with children if you saw someone out with their kids, go talk to them, they might be a new friend!)Another friend recalled how I spoke to her at a Stay at home MOMS Club meeting.( I DO like to talk). My neighbor in Delaware recalls how I knocked on her door with treats not long after she moved in. She was at wits end trying to paint, the kids were crazy. I did not mind, all I saw was another stay at home mom! Yeah! So began my new round of friendships.
Now I live in Knoxville. I am walking the dog, meeting neighbors, and trying to find children my own girls age for them to play with. I am proud to say I have 2 Facebook friends from here in Farragut. I even got invited to a neighborhood BBQ. It was like getting a ticket to a Broadway show! We got to meet many new people and who knows - maybe it was my first step toward "forging new relationships"