Face to Face

Do you know the saying, "You never know how much you loved something until it is gone?" That was my saying a few weekends ago. I was in Chicago visiting with my husband. We were supposed to get "familiar" with the area. We got to see neighborhoods and houses. We went out to eat. We saw many great things: parks, downtowns, libraries, and a river walk. After our driving tours, bus tours, and realtor tours, we discussed our opinions. Honestly my feelings were not all that positive. I was struggling with the sprawl, the cold, the dreariness, and the TINY houses. We talked. Jack went for run to clear his head and relieve some stress.

I sat in the hotel room and cried a little. (I also has some wine, and texted people)
Since that time I tried to figure out why I was so upset. What was it? The change? The unknown? I mean seriously, we saw a lot of nice things. It will be a fine place to live. What I realized was, I really do like it here in Tennessee. I know I don't like everything but I do like it a lot. I like my hot tub, I like being so close to shopping, gymnastics, and karate. I like knowing how to get around, how easy it is to get around to places - Then it hit me. Tennessee for all it's differences is more ALIKE to Delaware then it is different. Moving here was a BIG thing but my adaptation overall turned out to be very small. I feel so comfortable here because it is so much like my "home" in Delaware.

So there it was face to face, Chicago is NOT like Delaware, or Tennessee. It is it's own style, arrangement, and size. Moving there will mean more change and more adaptation. It scares me. It makes me not like it as much. That is why I sat in the hotel and teared up. I will have to say good bye to what I am comfortable with, for REAL this time. I will do it. I may even have some fun doing it. I know myself, and if I am honest I will admit, I will do with a smile, and just a few tears.