I am a Domestic Goddess. I did not research where this term originated, but I believe my first time hearing it was uttered by the comedian Rosanne Barr. There she stood on the stage of her HBO special with her sarcastic attitude talking about being a stay at home mom.
I have been a stay at home mom for many years now. I have been known to put "Domestic Goddess" down as my job on official forms. Not every time, but sometimes. If I am lucky the person who collects the forms chuckles if they notice it.
The reason I am talking about this right now is, I am a dying breed. Not that stay at home moms are dying out. There are many people who want to, and thankfully are able to stay at home. The reason I am getting more lonely is because when kids get to be the age mine are, there are many less stay at home moms out there.
My children are 10 and 12 years old, my choice to be at home is for the most part that, my choice. Children this age are more independent, your family needs more money, and they are in school most of the day, and year. It makes sense that it would be a good time to dust myself off and get back on the work horse. The peers I was with when my children were young are moving on to work and other endeavors. If I am able to stay at home, it is because my spouse/partner makes enough money to enable it and/or I still want to do it.
For many of us it is not the right choice to continue to be at home. We are bored, need the challenge of work, need the social interaction, need the money and/or need more of, of, something. It doesn't matter what. For all of us, that something is different, and the pull of it, is strong or not so strong.
I feel that pull and challenge sometimes. Like so many things in my life, it ebbs and flows. Last year it became so strong and the circumstances so good that I went back to work. It was a wonderful choice. It was the right choice for me at the time. Now I am at home again and I know it is the right choice for me now.
The other thing I know is that the days you are not so busy and the "To Do" list starts with, clean the house. My choice can get murky. A job looks good on those days. Then someone gets sick and I am glad I don't have to scramble to get coverage or stress and just take care of them. You really can't win.
This brings me to my venting part of my story. I do sense that any of us as parents, man or woman, want a job that allows us to be with our kids when they need us. We all want that job that allows us to be creative, supported, do something worthwhile, see all our kids shows/events, AND make tons of money.
My job, right now, is still, the Domestic Goddess. Some days, I feel my pay is lousy for doing laundry, dishes, and dusting. My husband makes plenty of money to support us, some days he feels his pay is lousy for the baloney he puts up with co - workers and NOT being there for a conference or event for his children. No matter what we do, or what choice we make for what is best for us and our family we have bad days. The other thing I have realized as Domestic Goddess in the age of the stay at home dinosaur, is that I still have friends who are at home and those who work. We all still have the Internet and check facebook from home OR the office. Making us all, no matter where we are, still connected.